I itch all over- all the time. A histamine problem, perhaps caused by new hormone levels. My legs itch, my elbows itch, my tits itch, my crotch itches. I catch myself sometimes scratching my boobs in the grocery store. People probably think I'm homeless and crazy.
I have gotten a cold sore every three weeks. This was something that I had hoped pregnancy would somehow fix, not make worse. I look like my husband has been "showing me how it's gonna be around here from now on", what with all the scabs on my lips. Perhaps I'll start to spontaneously bruise just to add effect. It wouldn't surprise me if that's another perk of pregnancy.
I have a "gestational rash" on my rib cage. There are four kinds, all non-life-threatening. One of them is gender specific (the baby, not the gestator). I'm probably going to have boys. Damn it.
When I get even a little bit cold, my nipples really, really hurt. No amount of padding can hide this very 1980's symptom of chilliness. They are pointy for all to see.
Not to make too big a deal of it, because I already mentioned this, but it can not be understated how much gas I emit.
Sex life? Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha. I'm an incubator now. No man can look at his woman's lower abdomen, knowing that there are his babies in there, and think, " I want to fuck that". Both sides of the equation may want to do it, but actually doing it is really not that appealing. Hormones make me disinterested (why do it, when the goal has already been met?). I'm also asleep by seven PM. Alternative methods? The thought of jamming something that isn't food in my mouth is... nauseating. The subject of cunolingus has not come up, leading me to believe that thoughts like "hello, who's in there?" might be distracting to my man. Though every book and expert says an orgasm won't hurt those little guys, it's tough for me to be feel okay masturbating. After all, it's like causing an earthquake in their tiny world. What if it shakes them loose?
No comments:
Post a Comment